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    4/22/2006

    我们如此美如此罪(2)

        他在车上说,你怕吗?我说我不怕.
        到达他住的那里后,楼下有个超市,他说你等下,我去买点东西.我点点头,在门口等他.
     
        超市前面是宽阔的马路,车来车往.超市明晃晃的灯光.明亮得刺眼.我才认识他一天.我却跟他走了.他很陌生,很陌生,尽管他很像某个人.身材很像.抽烟的姿势很像.说话很像.可他还是很陌生.可是谁不陌生,不管与我呆过一天或者一年,没有什么不同.他们自私地爱我.为了爱他们自己.灯光真是刺得我的眼睛非常不舒服.
       他从超市出来,看到我,说,你怎么哭了.我笑笑说,没什么,我不是又笑了吗.
     
       他从身后抱住我,说睡吧.我说你先睡吧.他意味深长地看着我说,桐桐,你知道会怎样的.不要装了.我说我没有装.他猛地把我抱到床上.
       他持续时间很长,我有些痛.结束后,他躺在我身边,摸到我的脸,摸到一把的泪.吓了一跳.抱住我,一句话不说.
     
       白天他上班.我在房间等他下班.
       他回来之后,我会快乐点.我不清楚我们之间有没有爱情.我只是觉得特别地不快乐.我仍旧想念某个人.但我也许永远也见不到他了。
       我们偶尔做爱,然后我就光着身子坐到电脑前玩游戏,他总是责备地把我抱回房间说,都被人看到啦!我说有什么关系,就算看到他也只能看看而已.他无可奈何地宠溺我.
     
       那几天结束后,我们的爱情就结束了.后来的时间我们之间只有微弱的牵挂与激烈地争吵.我的生活重新陷入了一塌糊涂的境地.

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